The Herring School
Colonel Parker roused his students from sleep
and led them out for a final gamboling lesson in the deep.
There after spinning wheels to form a tight bait-ball
he said to his giddy charges “What ya gonna do, y’all?”
Little Schmaltz shouted “Gonna get so high
doing country with Uncle Willie and his outlaw boys.
They’re gonna learn me to play the reefer riff
singing “nothin’ but blue skies” if’n ya catch ma drift”.
Missy Mae Rollmop said, “Enough of this idle chatter.
When I’m good I’m very good, but when I’m bad I’m better.
Sure, I look tawdry at times but I’m a classy girl.
In Hollywood my risqué wit will bamboozle the world”.
Heir Bloater shouted, “nicht mit mir, Baby, not me.
How many can singen “Blue Suede Shoes” unter der sea?
I’ll schütteln like Elvis, sprechen Deutsche, Jodler und tun tricks.”
Then he did a Franzl Lang imitation with karate kicks.
”Lo red herrings”, said another with a grunt
“When I become a (s)kipper, I will learn to sail a punt.
One day I’ll be more famous than Tupac or Jay Z.
I’ll be flying like a Schmetterling und Steichen like a bee”.
So round they went spinning their tall Casino tales
about outdodging dolphins and outwitting whales
as their silvery scales reflected excitedly their dreams
in the undulant green water and their round eyes gleamed.
Sadly no one noticed that a present danger loomed.
Giant shapes below were making bubble net balloons.
Suddenly the jaws of several humpbacks erupted gaping wide
and the herring school all disappeared inside.