Ducker – I Turned the Coffee On

I Turned the Coffee On 

The persistent clock was not kind
To my alcoholic glazed mind
When it said that it was time
To turn the coffee on.

My aching body felt half dead
Which matched the pounding in my head,
Whose misty messages to me said,
“Go turn the coffee on.” 

Although my body wished to shift,
The foggy cranium refused to lift
As murky thoughts began to drift.
‘Go turn the coffee on.’ 

I saw my shape drift ‘cross the floor
Maneuvering through the open door,
And a shaky finger reaching for
The button: Turn coffee on. 

The plastic eye blazed angrily
Gurgled loud, then suddenly
Slide along and jumped at me
Who’d turned the coffee on. 

Its long black cord snaked out,
Evilly hissed, and wrapped about
My neck, causing me to shout
“I’ve turned the coffee on!” 

The toaster eagerly joined the fray
Through slotted eyes began to spray
Its crumbs at me, as if to say
“You turned the coffee on!” 

They pushed me back against a chair.
Each growing larger, meaner, where
With one voice said, “How dare
You turn the coffee on!” 

The situation climaxed. It seemed,
My hangover head had just dreamed!
I sat bolt upright and screamed
“I’ve turned the coffee on!” 

My bleary eyes blinked out in space,
Relieved to see things back in place,
And knowing there was no race
To turn the coffee on. 

It was wonderful to flop down,
To pull the covers up o’er my crown,
Knowing that I could sleep sound
And NOT turn the coffee on.

 

Graham’s bio