Editor’s note: This month’s delightful blog is a comedic sketch written by long-standing BPS member Patrick Meade, who takes a few cues from Who’s On First and add’s a poet’s touch.
Wake up! Wake up! Let’s go.
We gotta do another one.
We gotta do another assignment.
Yes, an assignment. C’mon. But this time it’s a blog.
A blog? What the hell is that–how to build a log cabin?
You know what a blog is. Stop playing around. We’ve done one of these before.
Uhhhhh. I barely remember. What is it again?
It’s just ideas. We have to write our thoughts down on paper. You remember. C’mon.
Why don’t we go down to the beach instead; see some swans and the marsh? Or look for beach glass in the sand. I like the green ones. What’s your favorite colour?
Never mind colours. You and me got some writing to do for the poetry group.
About the beach?
I like that little marsh with the lilies.
Forget the marsh. We have a project to do, and like usual you want to put things off.
How did this all come about?
He committed to it.
But I don’t wanna do another one.
He told them all at the last meeting that he would do a blog for the website. So we gotta help him.
I didn’t agree.
Well, you were there and you’re part of it. And I am part of it too. We just gotta say something about the value of writing or poetry or creativity or working in groups or…
We gotta do all that?
No. Maybe just one.
So there’s nothing there about lilies?
What about pebbles?
No. No lilies, no pebbles, no nothing.
Can’t they just have coffee and talk? I’ll buy. Tell them that.
How about singing?
Have you heard him sing lately?
We might be just a couple of thoughts but we can do this. You always give me a hard time when we gotta do any kind of project.
And it’s called a blog?
Yeah. A blog. Everybody does it nowadays.
Never mind how come. You’re procrastinating again.
Can’t we just submit lilies?
How about pebbles?
Because that’s not our job. Ours is to think and write. That’s what we do.
Well, why doesn’t somebody else do it?
They do. Now it’s our turn. Will you stop frigging around and let’s come up with some ideas. The deadline is tomorrow.
It’s real hard doing this kind of thing, you know. I hope it’s not going to be like that other one.
Which other one?
With that other writing group; where we had to choose two characters from a list and have them talk to each other.
Oh yes. I liked that one.
You are one bent soul to have liked that.
With all that dialogue it was fun.
Fun!? That spindly old witch stumbling and babbling about on that broken broom stick and she had that ornery, snotty nosed, one-eyed camel stomping all over me.
Well, the idea was that they were supposed to be friendly. But you turned them into something nasty. You always do that. Anyway, it was a good challenge, don’t you think?
You’re doing it again. You are trying to avoid the assignment and you are doing it purposely.
Purposely or do you mean purposefully?
What’s the difference, anyway?
I don’t know and I don’t care. Will you please concentrate on our new task?
I’m going to look it up.
No, you’re not. Get back here.
Was that a blue jay that just flew by the window?
Will you please stay on track?
Do blue jays fly south?
Stay focused, will you?
I am. Maybe they’re seeking the open range.
Look, the only range that I can see in this is yours, and right now that seems to be quite deranged. Now listen to me. Don’t even think about anything. Okay?
Yes. Sorry. Maybe it wasn’t a blue jay. Maybe it was a crow. Was that thunder? What is it we’ve got to do again?
You’ve driven me so far off track that I’ m going to have to take a minute and find out what topic we can come up with.
Okay. I’ll wait here.
Good joke. Matter of fact, it looks pretty nasty outside; such a vile sky. Do you still want to go looking for lilies?
Ahhh… No, that’s okay. Feels like a good day for a blog.